Sexual Harassment at the Workplace: What you can do.

by Michael O' Adetu

It was around 10am on Monday morning in July 2015 when I got a call from a close friend. She was crying on the phone bitterly as she walked out of her dream job. She was sacked by her ‘boss’ because she has consistently turned down the sexual advances her boss made towards her for two years. Her story is both unfortunately and encouraging. Let me give you a quick background of her journey. For the sake of confidentiality, I will call her XXX. XXX grew up in an average family in the city of Lagos and for the family, education is a must. 

So XXX had the privilege of going through some of the best schools in Nigeria and worked for three years as a chartered accountant after graduation before proceeding to the UK for her masters. XXX then met her fiancé during her time in the UK, and they both decided to take their relationship to the next level. I have always known XXX to be full of life and friendly. I would say she is an extrovert with strong values that I believe are majorly as a result of her family background. XXX is not only a wonderful friend, she is also sound academically- she is the type of lady you would put in the class of grade A student. After completing her master’s degree, she returned to Nigeria to job-hunt as many fresh graduates would. 

XXX was then lucky to secure an interview in one of her dream company. I recall how excited I was for her telling her I know you will be fine. XXX secured the job and also got engaged during this period- what a time to truly celebrate! Anyways XXX began to experience sexual advances from her boss after working for four months. She was initially confused, sad and trying to handle the situation until things began to get out of hand. XXX then confided in me saying all that has been happening and how the workplace has been hell on earth for her because of her refusal to accept her boss sexual advances. She was perturbed to discover that her boss has had his way with other young ladies in the department and it has almost become a secret norm to accept his request in order to secure your job. 

In the midst of all she was going through in the workplace, she got married and moved in with her husband. By this time, her husband was already aware as I advised her never to keep him in the dark. She was also actively searching for another job as a plan b. Bear in mind that reporting sexual harassment at work to your employer especially when it involves someone in a top position can be highly political. There are basically no process and systems (some do have protections in place but are not effective and transparent) in place to protect victims of sexual harassment at work. As a victim, you are in most cases left with an option to either walk away or give in- this is where your values come in.

Then life happened, XXX lost her husband to a fatal car accident in August 2014. The shock of the news made her lost her 3months old pregnancy. It was really a sad period for XXX. She will spend hours crying and wondering why she had to go through such a terrifying experience. XXX received countless condolences from people in her workplace including her boss. XXX then became withdrawn and battling with depression but that did not stop her boss from making sexual advances towards her. This continued until July 2015 when she got to work and the HR gave her a sack letter. She was devastated and went straight to see her boss. Her boss told her straight away ‘sorry XXX there is nothing I can do about this, well I wish you accepted my request this would have been prevented’. She said thank you and walked out of the company. She was totally discouraged in the following months as she worked tirelessly in search of another job. 

Eventually, she was able to secure another job 7months after and found love again 3years after she lost her husband. She has moved on and now in a happy place growing in her career. Now that’s the story of XXX, there are so many young ladies out there who had to give in to such abuse and are left emotionally broken. XXX was able to pick herself up with the help of family and friends; what about thousands of young ladies who had no one to help them get back on their feet? 

This story is simply to give you an understanding of sexual harassment at the workplace. XXX is currently putting together a foundation that will fight for unfair dismissal and sexually abuse victims at the workplace. Until then, how do you handle a situation where your boss is making sexual advances towards you? (Please note that sexual advances can come from anyone- male, female and even people who are interested in same sex). Here are my thoughts on what I think you can do?

Know Your Environment

knowing your environment is important for your security and safety. By this, I do not only mean knowing your workplace environment alone; the country where you live and work is also important. This way, you will know if you can be protected against sexual harassment at work. For example, the level of protection you will have (in this context) in the UK against sexual harassment at work cannot be compared to some other countries. You really do not want to start a case in a country where there is no law that protects you against such harassment.

Do not Keep Quiet

Not informing anyone about what you are going through will only put you further in a vulnerable position. If you are lucky to work in a company that have policy and process in place, then you are better speaking up immediately. Communicate your concern with the HR. If you find yourself in a system that politically shield such predators, then you will have to speak to someone you trust and seek thoughtful advice on the best actions to take.

Try to Get Evidence

Predators of sexual harassment at work are fully aware that one way they can be easily persecuted is through solid evidence. So they make sure the act is carried out in a manner that leaves no trace. Having eye witness that can testify, audio or video recording and messages are good evidences to use in backing up your claim. Be smart to make sure that you gather your evidence(s) in a manner that will not put you in further danger.

Know What Has Been Put in Place to Protect You

One thing you will have to familiarize yourself with is your company policies that protect you at work. Your understanding of the policies that protect you against sexual harassment at work will help you to know how to conduct yourself and best way to fight your case. If this information is not made available to you, ask your HR department. Also, knowing the country laws against sexual harassment at work will empower you greatly. It will boost your confidence level and ability to confront intimidation.

Put Down a Formal Complaint

Talking about how you are being harassed sexually at work is one thing, making a formal complaint to the appropriate person(s)/authorities is another thing entirely. Formal complaint is crucial for legal case. If not documented, it did not happen.

Explore Other Options Outside of Your Organization

There are NGOs and organizations that fight for victims of sexual abuse or harassment. You can consider exploring this option if you feel you are being denied justice in your workplace.

Be Mindful of How You Interact and Appear

People have different views/opinions about how you should appear and interact at work. This is just my own advice. You need to understand that we all interpret gestures, words and appearance differently. People can interpret the things they hear, see and feel through their religious, cultural, background and experience lens. It is important that you avoid touching people inappropriately or saying words that suggest intimacy. It will be wise to just strictly follow your company policy on dress code, communication and relationship at work. This does not mean that you will be totally protected from being harassed sexually at work; at-least you know you have done your part not to pass the wrong message across.

Know When to Exit

Sometimes you might find yourself in a situation where you are not in a better position to fight your case. Probably you find yourself in an environment where the person harassing you sexually at work is being protected. Knowing the best time to exit might be your best option before things get out of hand.

Forgive Yourself and Make a Choice

One thing many people who have been through this kind of horrible experience struggle with is forgiving themselves. You need to understand that forgiveness is never about the person that has harmed you; your freedom is important for your growth. You might have given in to such harassment and end up being sexually abused even for years. Regardless of how much you really want to fight for justice, forgiving yourself is important. One way to truly begin to forgive yourself is by making a choice to remove yourself from the environment where you are being abused. Cut out every avenue of communication with your abuser.

Refuse to Give Up

Sometimes justice can be delayed and might not be served at the end. If you are a hard-nut that never give up easily, then you can push on till you get what you want which is justice. No one can truly understand the emotional trauma you might be going through and if justice will help you heal, then go for it!

I conducted a short survey to find out the age bracket of both male and female most affected by sexual harassment at work in Nigeria. Below is the result of my survey.

I must say that this result does not represent Nigeria workplace because of the volume of participants that participated. However, it does give an idea to know the age bracket most affected by sexual harassment at work. Thousands of workers are being harassed sexually at the workplace on a daily basis. Knowing what to do can prevent you from becoming a prey. Also note that sexual harassment can also come from a subordinate to a superior colleague.

Feel free to share your story with me (your identity will be kept private if you want). I will write about your experience so that other people can learn. Sharing your story and telling your truth can also help you heal if you have been abused. Kindly send email to michaeladetu1@gmail.com

I hope you find this useful.
Do you agree? Drop your comment.